roger_tats

Dreams.

Wed, 07 Sep 2005 18:15:37 GMT

I had amazing dreams last night.

And Bobby bobbylovesmusic was in them. Weaving his way in and out of every dream-adventure I was experiencing.

I'm in love. It feels amazing. It feels a little scary, too.

Love is vulnerability and I don't like being vulnerable. I've spent so many years trying to build walls. (Maybe I should be writing a drabble for that 'walls of stone' challenge...)

You can't love without making a crack in the wall that protects you from pain. So you have to risk pain to feel love. It's mind-boggling.

I want to feel Bobby's hands on me. He suggested going back to bed to snuggle and I'm up for that.

Last night was exciting. Really hot.

Wed, 17 Aug 2005 19:48:15 GMT

I slept over with Bobby last night. I remember his ass curled in the small of my back at one point. It felt good.

We kind of danced around to some of his 60s music at one point. And I diapered the baby.

Dinner's always good when Bobby cooks. He's great in the kitchen.

Bobby drank wine while we talked in his room, but I drank him in and skipped the wine. He's heady enough without booze.

Bobby thinks he's ordinary, but I think he's very pretty.

I guess Bobby's very inexperienced. But he's been practicing somehow, or so he told me. That's interesting and flattering. I think he wants to be a good sexual partner and hopes to please. He talked about thinking he might not be satisfying, so I can tell it bothers him.

He's also told me a little about his past, just some stuff here and there. I think he's only been with one woman, from what he said, but I'm not sure. And it sounds like he's barely been with one guy, and didn't do that much.

I don't think people need to have the same level of sexual experience to be compatible. There's probably an advantage to one person knowing more, though. That way the more experienced person can guide the less experienced one.

I've been with lots of women and men, but I've been very solitary in the past couple years. (Masturbation is so easy and hassle-free that I haven't cared that much. I've been trying to stay out of trouble, so I haven't really hooked up.)

I've been thinking about it and I realized that I never did really date, the way a lot of people do. It was always just meeting up with girls and women, hanging out and hooking up. I like being out in a bar or whatever to be comfortable and easy, with no hassles. I don't feel comfortable in most restaurants, unless I'm working there, of course.

The thing for me with men was expedient, as Jim likes to say. When you're in an all-male environment, you do what the other men do. I had experiences I liked and experiences I hated. And sometimes it was just blah. Nothing. Something that was done to me, or that I did. The other person involved was... a cypher. Zero.

I don't really like going to ball games or other sports events. It's too confining. I don't like being in huge crowds of people, really.

Jim and I have been wary of each other and always dueling with our eyes and bumping up against each other. I know that routine really well. It's like testing to see how it goes with another guy. Can you take him? Would he take you? Is he somebody you can respect? Do you have to fight to figure it out, or can you talk things out?

Every time I'm over to see Bobby at Jim's and Brian's house, Jim and I end up talking for a couple minutes alone. We talked yesterday, too. We don't say that much, but Jim's made it clear that he'll do anything he has to do to protect his family. And to him, Bobby is part of his family.

I slugged a guy at work several times yesterday for making a crack about Bobby. He threatened to get my ass fired, but the boss thinks he's a lazy puke. I work hard and so does Bobby, so I doubt he can get me in trouble. Besides, I didn't take the first swing. He punched my arm and that was it. I've got a bad temper when pushed.

I've been keeping my temper under control for the past two years, though. So I'm not that easy to piss off, the way I used to be.

It's hot in Bobby's upstairs room, but it cools down good at night. He's got this small box fan in the window that brings in the cool, ocean air. In fact, I remember being cold. I had a nightmare and must have made noise. Jim was there and he covered me up with a blanket over the sheet.

Nobody's ever done anything to take care of me. I was really impressed that Jim would do that.

So I quit this entry and went by work to see Bobby, even though it's my day off. I actually started writing this entry this morning, but I just stopped and save it private while I was out.

Anyway, I even worked for an hour, just to help out. The boss was there and he and I talked and he said that other bastard had complained, but he wasn't having any of it. I guess I'm not in trouble, because the boss said I might be getting a raise.

Not tagged, but playing anyway, an LJ Tag game.

Wed, 17 Aug 2005 19:15:09 GMT

I saw this in Liv's (Shannon's) live2luv68 LJ and gacked it (though I wasn't tagged). If you're one of her friends, you can see her answers in this entry. (But she locks her posts, I guess, so non-friends are out of luck.)

<edit>
Liv live2luv86 told me if people friend her, she'll friend them back! So go for it. (She's cool.)
</edit>

There are three sets of three, easy to answer.

Set 1.
List 3 things that bug you that others may find trivial.
1: People who take cut in lines. Makes me furious. (In fact, anybody who doesn't wait their turn.)
2: People eating my food, especially off my plate.
3: People touching me without any warning.

Set 2.
List 3 things that make chocolate even better.
1: Vanilla ice cream under chocolate sauce.
2: Eating it while reading any "Harry Potter" book. (They seem to always be eating it.)
3: Kissing someone who tastes of chocolate and booze.

Set 3.
List 3 things you'd rather be doing than playing a game of LJ tag.
1: Fucking. (Well, maybe not at this second. But in general.)
2: Working out. (I need a good sweat that's not from it being too muggy and miserable at work...)
3: Eating. (I'm hungry right now.)

How about if I tag three friends? (You know, three sets of three? Seems right.)

1: Bobby bobbylovesmusic
2: Koi koisunset and
3: FatJoey fatjoey

Tag... you're it.

Mood ring for Bobby.

Sat, 06 Aug 2005 06:38:34 GMT

Because I think Bobby bobbylovesmusic will like this...

Your Mood Ring is Light Purple

Clever
Witty
Sharp

Mood Ring Generator

Okay, I'll take that. (Clever, witty, sharp, I mean.) But light purple? Jesus.

Love.

Sat, 06 Aug 2005 06:31:06 GMT

Love makes me want to go to confession, for whatever reason.

Jesus.

I thought I was over that shit.

Speaking of shit, just_jimbo has some fucking impressive shit icons. (I'm not asking where those photos came from.)

Bobby bobbylovesmusic, I'd love to dance with you again. Tonight?

Fictional Fucks List

Sun, 24 Jul 2005 08:39:12 GMT

Name five fictional characters you would shag, then tag five friends.

Tough to narrow down, but I'll try.

1. Vallery Irons (Pamela Lee Anderson) from 'V.I.P.'
2. Name any Colin Farrell character. (yeah, pretty much.)
3. Guinevere (Keira Knightley) from 'King Arthur'
4. Rose Dewitt Bukater (Kate Winslet) from 'Titanic'
5. The Abbe du Coulmier (Joaquin Phoenix) from 'Quills' (yeah, I'm a sick fuck.)

(My flist isn't long enough to tag anyone. But I wasn't tagged in the first place. Gacked this from Bobby bobbylovesmusic.)

I'd explain why for each, but that's wasn't included in the deal. (And some of it is pretty sick reasoning, I suppose. What-the-fuck, I say. Deal.)